Pinching and Spanking Girls’ Bodies in Public Places
By Amna Gilani • Mar 21st, 2008 • Category: Misc, Worth A Second Look • (4,766 views) • 63 CommentsI and my elder sister went to shopping last evening in a posh market, which supposed to attract the high gentry. After purchasing our required items, we started looking for a taxi. After five minutes, a cab stopped in front of us. My sister went ahead, bended, and asked from the driver about the fare to our destination. While she was arguing with him, a man of middle age strolled past her, and as he was passing he rammed his hand in the bottom of my sister with full force and ran away. My sister screamed and in the same bended posture fell to the ground. I ran to her, put her into the cab, and just got the hell of out of there full of shame, fury and tears.
This is was not the first time I saw this happened. I myself have experienced such nasty thing multiple times while going to college or market or while walking in the park. Just two months ago, I was in a fun fair in a park in the evening. I was walking from stall to stall, window shopping and enjoying myself. I stopped at the stall of bangles, which was crowded by other females. I was just turning after watching what the rush was about, when someone pulled upon the straps of my undergarments with mighty force, and dumb-founded when I turned I saw no one in sight.
Some years back, when I was studying in the college, our class went on picnic. When we reached there, groups of girls separated and I with my five or six mates went in one directions. Not more than five minutes later, we were surrounded by some 10 to 12 boys, who first invited us with them and upon our stern refusal and anger, they just attacked us. They pinched and spanked us on breasts, hips and where ever they could lay their dirty hands on. We screamed in terror and tried to break away, and fortunately our screamed were heard by other girls and teachers, and as soon as those animals heard others coming, they vanished. I still have those scars on my body and on my soul.
Last year, I went to another city to attend a wedding ceremony. After the wedding I stayed on for two more days to meet and greet the olden friends. On a quite evening, I and one of my friend were taking a walk in front of our house after dinner. As we were walking, two boys on bike came out of nowhere, stopped besides us, one of them embraced my friend while sitting on the back of bike and forcefully kissed and groped her. I and she screamed and tried to breakaway from the dastard. They both went laughing after one minute.
I bet that every girl has a story or stories like this to tell. But she in our society keeps it to just herself. Whom to tell, and what would be the gain? That is how we are living this life. We cannot tell this to our fathers and brothers, and we cannot fight back. If we speak against it, we are called as sluts and shameless. What do we do? Keeping getting pinched, spanked and groped?
Last 5 posts by Amna Gilani
- Zardari and 9/11 - May 9th, 2008
- Breaking News Mania on T.V Channels - April 30th, 2008
- ERRA : Speed it Up - April 28th, 2008
- Pakistani Girls in Public Call Offices : Call Girls or Calling Girls? - April 25th, 2008
- Acid Throwing on Girls and Boys in Pakistan - April 22nd, 2008
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Amna Gilani
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Amna this is something …that is shameless…heartless…and to say the least dastardly….
so sad to have read this…
but what should i write…speechless..
makes me so burdened to see level to which we as a people are stooping to….
I knew that there were ppl out there who are like this ….but ….this is surely too much
to think that first being groped….and secondly if u talk about it….u are called names…
what is the reason for these kinds of actions….dont these ppl have…mothers or sisters…or wives…
anyways ..i strongly….voice against this…inhuman behaviour
May Allah Keep you safe from this and such…
its good that u have voiced this
I sincerely feel sorry for u and your sister
-peace
Dear Amna,
This barbarious behaviour is not confined to Pakistan but also northern states of India especially, Punjab,Delhi,haryaana,UP etc. Normally the southern and eastern states of India do not face this problem in such severity because public punishment can be severe.
Best defence is public outcry. But unfortunately the youth from poor background have this wrong idea that this type of vulgarism is liked by the girls. Your silence will only reinforce this idea. Make a public slap and it could be a good defence but then barbarians can go to any length if from a known locality.
I can vouch for this. Having been victim of such evil thing many times in my life. I am the mother of two, and have crossed my thirties, yet I receive such things occassionaly, when I am not careful. Thumbs up for you Amna for brining this taboo topic.
freaking horrible
Dear Sister,
Assalam o Alaikum
I strongly condemn the act of those coward guys who have done such acts with you, your sister and other girls. Infact, in my opinion, it is the duty of every citizen of a society to condemn and if possible, forcefully stop such acts.
Your name suggests that you are a Muslim girl and hence my honorable sister. Allah says in Qur’an:
“And say to the believing women that then should lower their gaze and guard their modesty, and not display their ornaments except to their husbands or their fathers, or the fathers of their husbands of their sons, or the sons of their husbands or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons or their women or those whom their right hands possess, or the male servants not having need (of women), or the children who have not attained knowledge of what is hidden of women; and let them not strike their feet so that what they hide of their ornaments may be known…” (Surah an-Nur:31)
This is Allah’s order to every believing woman. Likewise every believing man should condition his mind to bring the verses of Surah Nur in front of his eyes during any tempting situations and imagine that Allah is ordering him directly:
“Say to the believing, men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty .O you believers! Turn you all together towards Allah that you may attain success”
The above are only two verses ordering us about many of our daily routines. Now what we have done is we have left the saying of Allah and His prophet (peace be upon him). To be very honest I used to say to my colleagues to lower their eyes when a woman passed by, the usual answer came that “why should we?” and “who are you to suggest such a thing?” Even my wife, she refused to take a ‘hijab’. And then I started thinking “Yes, why should I?”
The acts pointed by you in your blog are “two way communications” in the western culture. I remember when I was in UK, two girls pinched the hips of my friend while we were in a superstore on shopping. We (including those girls) laughed on this act of those girls and later they became his friends. Even I was asked in the college by a girl to go on a date with her. But Allah saved me.
I am not pointing to anyone here (that’s why have given my own experiences) but just letting every Muslim remember the orders of Allah in Qur’an which we sometimes “only recite”. I know that my post will not be encouraged by many, but this is the fact that we have left the Qur’anic way of life and adopted a western culture.
A culture full of such crime and yet considered a very ‘civilized’ one.
A civilized culture where, according to sexual assault statistics data collected by 1995 National College Health Risk Behavior Survey in US, 1 out of every 5 college age women report being forced to have sexual intercourse;
A civilized culture where, 22% of all women (in US) say that they have been forced to do sexual things against their will, where only 3% of men (in US) admit to ever forcing themselves on a woman.
Only 16% of rapes and sexual assaults are reported to the police (Rape in America: A Report to the Nation. 1992). In 1995 there were 97,460 rapes reported to law enforcement officials. At a 16% reporting rate, this means that there were actually closer to 649,733 rapes in the United States.
And we are going to be ‘civilized’ very soon. So the cases you have reported in your blog are just trailers. A more civilized culture awaits us in the near future.
May Allah guides us all and saves us from the so called civilized culture.
Regards,
Mustafa
Mustafa Saheb is right, ” it is the duty of every citizen of a society to condemn and if possible, forcefully stop such acts.” (after all harassment of any nature, sexual or otherwise, is not permissible under the law). However, there is a problem here when Mustafa Saheb suggests, ” Your name suggests that you are a Muslim girl and hence my honorable sister.” Can one limit honour and dignity and self esteem only to muslims. I would have thought these are universal phenomena and hold for all human beings. This kind of approach limits a person to the thinking that his women (mother, sister, wife wtc) have honour and deserve protection and respects but all the others (including your and mine) are just objects of pleasure. When you speak about the religion I think it conveys a universal message for all mankind. As I understand it.
Amna: My sympathies with you. Hope people get saner.
And on Mustafa: Please stop linking people’s behavior with God! If God is indeed the creator of this entire world then “He” (or rather It - for God should be sexless) should have created the bad and the good. God has to be beyond this Good or bad nonsense. Let us not bring God into this. When we do, .. when we force ourselves to behave in a certain way because it will “please” God, then what we are saying is that God is this finicky schizophrenic character whose happiness or otherwise depends on the actions borne our of our OUR finicky minds!! The guys who groped and their victims - BOTH were created by the same creator. You cannot give what you dont have. If God is indeed the creator then he put in these two characters the ingredients that HE has with him.
So, good and bad is not something that God gives or is pleased with… its something that we as humans do or think about. The point is simple, let us take our own responsibility instead of pushing it to an imaginary figure and wash our hands off of it. And, one more thing, you cannot *make* others behave good. You can at best do it yourself. The world will take care of itself. Because if you go out saying “I will make this other person *Good*” - what you are essentially saying is - “God couldnt fix this sh*t, so I will”!
The problem in our societies - Indian and Pakistani - is that we have pushed the onus of everyone’s mess to a woman’s chastity. I am reminded of Sahir’s song: Aurat ne janam diya mardon ko:
Specially these immortal lines:
Mardon ki hawas hai jo aksar;
Aurat ke paap mein dhalti hai.
We dont need to be told by a God or a Prophet or an Angel that one’s morality and actions are one’s OWN responsibility. Let us, first as a society make Men and Women take care of their own responsibilities as human beings… and not shove our expectations on the other shamelessly. Worse, hold the OTHER responsible for our “aggression” or transgressions. Let men be responsible for the actions of their own minds. Only then will Amnas and her sister of this world will have a better hope of living like a normal human being!
-desh
Drishtikone.com
Hey! Desh, you said it and so loud and so clearly. This is how Truth must be spoken. Bless your heart whoever you are.
These are all signs of frustration and the closed society. Only if we allow our society to open up, and let the boys and girls enjoy, only then such meaningless groping, pinching and other “Kharafat” would end. I feel sympathy with you Amna
Thanks Aftab! If anyone wants to listen to the full song “Aurat ne janam diya mardon ko” - you can click on my name - it will lead you to the link on my site with the song.
Avtar Payambar janti hai;
Phir bhi shaitan ki beti hai!
yeh wo badkismat ma hai jo;
beton ki sej pe leti hai!
Guys - its not about *what* we see, but what we make of what we see that makes something erotic or divine… that makes one lady without clothes a sister who has to be helped and another a slut to be enjoyed. It is all in OUR minds… not “Out there”!
Until we get this one thing pat down… women will continue to be raped and hurt.
-desh
drishtikone.com
I was already shocked with the things happened with Amna but got more shocked after reading statement by Sehba. She wants to put up comment that societies where men and women are open are not frustrated at all, if that would the case then there should be less sexual harassment cases in US and less percentage of rapes in USoA?
Adnan Siddiqi Saheb, in an open society like USA people generally do report cases of harassment, assault, and almost any criminal activity and do not suffer from pseudo sense of honour. In the USA a victim is not blamed for being victmized and his / her sense of personal honour remains intact and it is above a criminal assault by a degenerated lunatic’s act of violence. Where as in our kind of set up, more than often, such cases do not get reported and thus recorded to reflect in statistical reports. I hope that this clarifies the confusion regarding the percentages etc. (Forgive my giving example of the USA {although the same is true in any of the enlightened free western societies} since that is a country with which ordinary Pakistani mind seems to have burdened itself with such an intense love-hate relationship). What disturbs me personally is our national sense of inferiority which manifests itself in our constant proclaimation of being better and superior than rest of the world. I just wonder why. A wrong is a wrong and an offence is an ofence whether I am the culprit and perpetrator or someone else half the world away. Where is the justification?
Amna, This is so sad that it happened to you. I have never heard this before and never seen this happening anywhere. I used to go quite often to the bazars and markets.
First of all, I think you must be an extra-ordinary beautiful girl!!
Secondly, I advise don’t go out un-necessarily especially to the public places or at-least go with some male person whom you trust, I mean you cousin brothers etc.
Islam also says the best place for a woman is her home and if she need to go out should be with modesty.
Even I blame these cruel creature named as ‘MAN’ for all what had happened to you and I being a man apologize to you
This is really sad - First I must applaud you for having the courage to write on this issue - I wish there was a way to stop this nuisance - its really degrading specially in a conservative society like ours to have our honorable women held hostage at the hands of these hoodlums. Such actions in my opinion are almost equivalent to a rape crime. If we cant stop it now, these can later be exploited to commit the actual
Please suggest a course of action and lets see if we can together make a fuss about it - with the hope of embarrassing the offenders and maybe stopping this nuisiance to some extent and holding the offenders accountable for their actions
So, Jalil Khan Saheb, women in Pakistan should not go out and the best place for them is home inside the house. Mullah Omer or Zwahiri or even their chief Thekedar (of what Islam says we should be doing in Pakistan) could not say it any better.
You are suggesting that we, Pakistani / muslim men, are so dangerous and beyond decency that our women should better stay out of our sight because we are so barbaric and our behaviour unpredictable. Is that what you are saying?
all of you must be kidding me..
could the tone of this article not be a little more subtle ?
i felt like i was reading one of those erotic short stories…
Dear Amna,
We must condemn these kind of actions. But there is always some thing behind every event. As we are facing terrorism in Pakistan because of our policies in 1980’s. same is the case with these pinching and spanking girls bodies in public. Try to analyze problem and root cause before giving final verdict on issue.
We accept that all over world girls wears jeans and in some countries skirts. But in Pakistan there is a new trend which gives more sexy looks to girls and even newly married girls i.e. making trousers like Shalwar and very very short size shirt with pure thin cotton clothes. These dresses are purely see-through. In addition to this, you will find all these girls without wearing any vest etc. they only wears bras and panties. and mostly with contrast colors. Its no need to mention but for girls that now guys can even judge that girl is having special days because of their panties. I’m writing all this that if you have not yet observed then observe it ans you will find our Pakistani girls dress (shalwar n Kameez) is having more sexy looks than jeans. because you can judge girls body through jeans. and add one more thing. Pakistan climate is hot and when these girls goes in markets with same dresses, and sweat makes their dress wet then how they looks.
I not belongs to that class who runs after girls for these cheap actions and I’m also not supporting their actions. We must accept this reality that females are equally participant.
When girls seduces males, then those girls should not expect that guys will ignore them. males are males. they will run after them. its natural and opposite gender always has attraction. then question is how to control? Answer is very simple. try to follow dress code explained in holy book Quran and men should not stare girls body.
You all suck big time and that is evident from your frustrated comments, exclude Teeth, Mustafa and Jalil. For rest “huh” comment is enough as they want to extend the story! And Desh! you talk about God and stuff, come on do this thing in my province and the next thing you gonna get is two bullets in your head and am sure you wont even think of doing it again.
I personally witnessed one such thing in a posh locality where a group of guys constantly harassed girls and the brother of one of the girls shot and killed the guy. The story spread like jungle fire in the whole city and i remember never ever someone dared to repeat such things. Plus you are stupid enough not to understand what Mustafa is saying and the only thing that is evident from your reply is your atheist thinking. Better enjoy your atheism but dont force it on others.
Dear Aftab Saheb,
First of all thanks for your earlier comments. Yes you are right that we should not limit honor and esteem only to Muslims. My point of view was something different which I think I couldn’t clearly express in my earlier post. Anyway, if any non-muslim has been hurt by my earlier comments, I apologize.
What I meant by calling Ms Amna a Muslim girl because the later context of the post was only applicable to Muslims as I quoted some Qur’anic verses in the later paras in which Allah clearly addresses believing women and men. If anyone is non-muslim here, then it is not obligatory for him or her to obey the commands in those verses (or in the whole Qur’an). In my opinion, and I may be wrong, that the commands or orders in the Qur’an are only applicable to all those who say that we are Muslims.
I fully agree with Mr. Jalil Khan, when he suggests that the best place for a woman is her house. And let me correct you, this is the suggestion originally from Allah and His prophet (peace be upon him). I feel very strange when someone attributes Allah and His prophet’s commands to Mullah Omer or Zwahiri. These commands had come when there were the best people on earth, the Sahaba (R.A), definitely they were not barbaric and their behaviour was also not unpredictable. Then what was the reason behind these orders from Allah? We should be very careful when writing about any Qur’anic verse and Ahadith.
I also agree with Mr Adnan, someone who have courage to analyse the data related to sexual harassment in US.
Lastly, Mr Desh, please do not comment on my post if you are a non muslim. Because after becoming a Muslim, we have to do everything and live our live according to Allah’s will.
Regards,
hahahahaha
It is a sad story…typical of incidents that are not uncommon in some Pakistani cities/towns, as well as in some parts of India, especially northern India (and Delhi in particular). Shockingly many incidents of harassment take place in full public view. Many a times the police is a silent spectator, and least helpful (something to do with lack of proper sensitization/training on the subject and cultural reasons).
It is not that the leaders/authorities in the two countries are not aware of this shocking state of affairs. But even in their own minds this subject seems to be low down in their list of priorities. Did someone say we recently celebrated “International Year of the Woman”???? The media reports such incidents (one wonders whether only to titillate their audience). Their seems to be no concerted effort to create public awareness on this issue.
There have been incidents in India when the culprits were resoundingly thrashed or even lynched. The public is increasingly taking the law in its hands because the state machinery is not doing enough to check the growing menace.
Another dimension that deserves attention is the fact the before the partition of India into two in 1947, Indian and Pakistani cities (and big towns) had areas informally earmarked where prosititution was socially accepted. The logic was that it was better that the “drain flowed in one known part of the city”. Now with the sweeping ban on prostitution “the drain has begun to flow in different parts of the cities.”
MJK: I am not an atheist. But before you believe in a God - at least understand how or what He/It/She should be?
If that God is all powerful, all encompassing, Omnipotent and because of Him/It/She everything works… then dont you think it is funny that Mustafa says I “have to” live according to Allah’s will? When you just “live” every day … whose will are you living by then? Does God’s will not extend then? Is God impotent when you live as a non-Muslim or not as per how your neighborhood Mullah (or Pandit or Pastor) asks you to?
It is not about religion, sir. It is about being HUMAN. If we are just humans, we will be fine and living according to God’s will.
And, that is my point. We define God in a certain way, and then try and define ourselves according to that.. little realizing that the definition is ours and the approach is also ours.. and moreover that this world is EVERY moment, every time, at every place being run according to a certain cosmic principle… and that, my friend, is the rule of the God, or Allah or whatever you may want to call Him/It/She!
More importantly, take responsibility for you own actions, dont blame God for it.
Cheers,
desh
Dear Amna,
Although we knew that It happens in the bazars and other area where frustrated young boys infested with the hangover of Indian Commercial films, but nothing can be done to stop this from happening keeping in view the standard and training of our Police, dead society and responsibility of some ladies to look less flashy in the market areas.
It will take more that 50 years for this society to control this thing from happening. Either there will be Talibans after 50 years or our society would have gone through many traumas and we will learn this through hard experiences.
A city where there are places like Cat House[written by same author], such things should not sound surprising anymore.
Here we go - we have one of “that” kind as Prime Minister of Pakistan. From now on, there will be announcements like: Ladies and Gentlemen the PM of Pakistan (Talk to Mr. MJ for further instructions!!).
Dear Mustafa Saheb, Respects. Please do allow me to disagree. My point is pretty simple. All I am trying to say is that we neither can nor should monopolize God, the Prophet, or the Book. If you believe there are good things / message for those who believe in it then anyone who chooses to benefit from it, must have a right to do so. I fail to find any reference where God claims to be “Rab ul muslimeen” or the Prophet as “Rehmat ul muslimeen”. Whereever, I find and have come to accept that God is “Rab ul Alameen” and His Prophet the “Rehmat ul Alameen”. You can’t limit the religion to only muslims. In my humble opinion it should, our Belief, be open for inspection and question. This can only be possible once we accept the basic fact that in this day and age no one is out there trying to destroy our Faith. It is about time that we learn to live and let others get on with their lives. We claim and I believe firmly that our religion is of tolerance and mutual coexistence and it preaches Peace and harmony among all of God’s creations, us included.
Dear respected brother Aftab,
I think we are both on the same track but could not understand eachothers point. Definitely, Allah is Rab ul Aalameen and Muhammad (peace be upon him) is Rehmat ul Lil Aalameen, I agree with you. Everyone has the right to be benefited with the Book (Qur’an). But if a person claims to be a Muslim, the laws stated in the Qur’an become obligation for that person. On the other hand, a non-muslim has the full right to take benefits from the Book but the laws are not applicable to that person and nobody can assume the right to forcefully apply any of the rights to any non-muslims until they become believers or until their acts are creating bad effects on a Muslim society.
In our society, we are facing problems due to the opposite attitude. We think that non-muslims ’should’ act according to Islam and there is no duty on the Muslims to follow the religion. And this mindset has become part of our young generation as well. On one hand we are facing extremist Muslims trying to apply laws (according to there explanation) to everyone including non-muslims, on the other, so called ‘enlightened’ Muslims who, while proclaiming they are Muslims, think that they are free to take and apply selected commandments from Qur’an which seem to benefit them. They do not know that each and every word of the Book (Qur’an) is for their own benefit, either in this world or for their life after death.
I personally have a firm belief that if we apply all the laws in the Qur’an, the problems we are facing will not remain, whether at a society level or at an individual level.
Professionally, I am an auditor and I feel comfortable explaining things in my way. When we perform an audit of a company, we always look for certain controls. Those controls are preventive, detective or corrective in nature. If there is a risk of fraud, there must be certain controls to prevent and /or detect that fraud and the corrective action should also be there. Preventive controls are always preferred by us when we give our opinion on the reliability of internal control system. Similarly, Islam has applied certain controls on us. Most of these controls are preventive in nature. For example, the risk of being sexually assaulted by a man is there for a woman, Islam suggested preventive control of covering herself so that she may not create a bad thinking in the men’s brain in the first instance. Now this suggestion does not apply to non-muslim woman. So if a muslim man sees a woman (whether Muslim or non-muslim) in inappropriate dress there is a compensating control that Islam suggested for him, and that is to lower his gaze so that he could not see her. A corrective control, that is a punishment is there in the Qur’an for those who still commit a crime. But I do not think that anyone would commit adultery if any or both of the preventive controls suggested by the Qur’an have been applied by both the man and the woman. I hope that you think similarly and we do not have any disagreement on the above.
Desh: I feel that I have to write the very basics of our religion ‘Islam’ for clear understanding. Allah has created two destinations. One is ‘Paradise’ and the other is ‘Hell’. Allah has created us and set an objective for us to achieve. The objective is ‘to reach the paradise and live there indefinitely’. Now Allah has set us free to choose whatever way to reach the destinations. But He has also guided us the right way in His Book. It is upon us whether we follow that guided path or not. But Allah’s promise is that the person going through His guided path will enter the paradise. This is a very simple description of a Muslim’s life. For example, if a man performs adultery, he has chosen wrong path for him. The right way is to enter in wedlock. And Allah has already forbidden from adultery and encouraged wedlock in the Book.
Some wrong acts are performed only at an individual level and do not have adverse effects on the society. These acts do not require any punishment in the Islamic law and should not be forcefully applied to everyone. A very basic example is that Allah through His prophet (peace be upon him) suggested us to drink water in sitting position. There is no punishment for him if one drinks water in standing position. However, there might be some adverse effects on the body of that person which we do not know. But if a person rapes a woman, the death penalty is there for him because he has caused severe adverse effects on that woman and on the society as a whole. It means that the person should not have the right to live in this world anymore and should go directly to his destination, which is ‘Hell’. But as a society, the preferred way is to forcefully restrict him of doing certain wrongdoings before he commits such a crime, and I personally feel that these crimes can be prevented if the laws are applied forcefully, atleast for those crime which hurt our society.
Regards,
Breaking News: This article is going to be in list of MOST VIEWED of TPS website. Why we reads such articles lot? Do we read them for enjoyment or have some kind of concerns? What we people do, we starts arguing on these issues and thats all. We never treats these issues with iron hands. Ms Amna wrote this painful article so we can participate physically in controlling these problems; not just for telling her bitter experiences for our enjoyments and arguments.
hahahahahaha
so much sexual tension in the streets of Pakistan…and also this blog…
Dear Mustafa,
You perfectly make sense but you see you can’t convince everyone here. People will disagree with you for the sake of disagreement and i can see that they are talking in different context. Keep up the good work of spreading the message.
May Allah bless you.
Regards
HI Amna, I feel sorry for u but i wonder y it happened so many times with u only,i mean y u keep walking on streets alone or with a female friend when u know too well there might be such guys out there.our police is hopeless so this cant stop for now,i must say it has nothing to do with religion,it happens becuz boys in our society r spoiled by their mothers so they learn to take women for granted.I have witnessed many mothers who will not even scold their sons if someone comes up with a complaint of their sons behaviour. mothers need to teach their sons to respect women not harras them.
Thanks very much Pro Pakistan and everyone who agrees with Islamic stance. It is always very relaxing to see that Islam still lives in our hearts.
who would you blame for it ? the media, the TV channels that are coming into our houses, the Modernization or those girls them selves
It is very sad indeed what had happened with Amina but why some people are trying to mix so amny things, especially Aftab bahi. And i fully favour Mustafa Bahi. Had people men & women lower down thier gaze while passing by each other, thier would be no such thing at all & that is what Quran says, that is it. But indeed no one would listen to that as westren civilization has entered in to our homes through cable, dish, internet & many more channels.
It needs a massive effort to guide our youth that this is not fair what you are doing & let’s go back to the teachings of Prophet of Islam & find all solutions to our problems. Indeed all solutions to our misiries lie over there & for those guys who just keep on commenting on such minor incidents, i can only pray!! My country has started a terrific journey towards genuine democracy, free judiciary & free & independent media in the mids of suicide bombing, US jets voilation of our territory, horrible inflation, uprising in Balochistan, unrest in Waziristan & much much more. But you great people are just keep worrying about an issue which has little importance & let me remind every one that why such incidents do not happen with a women or girl in full Islamic dress? Here is the real test & every one should ponder over this but yet i ve sympathy with Amina.
i read all above comments…. 1 thing is most important if girls wear hijaab , it is not possible k koe estarh karay i mean 80% chance khatam hojatay hai….
dosri baat yaha se zidha dosray mulko may ya chiz zidha hai…….. shukar hai hamaray mulk may ya bohat kam hai… or agar or kam karna hai tu larkion ko apnay libas kar khiyaal rakhna chiay…app libas se sex tu nahi barh raha ….. i mean tight shirt etc
I read one book, written by Pakisatni Prostitute and it really meant a lot for our girls.
She said, ” We prostitutes are far better than those girls who exposes their bodies in open public, in office and other place free of cost. Atleast we earns money for it.” It shows that how cheap our society is going to be. Girls are exposing their bodies without thinking even for a minute that what is the benefit of doing all this. These girls walks in markets as they are at home without any male. No coverup, no setting of their shirt, damn cares where their lawn shirt is going, no care how down their shalwar has gone. Means classic sex stuff on Pakistani streets. Wah Bahi Wah… Hum nay USA aur Europe say Technology ki field main to kuch na seekha, laikin Kapray utarnay main hum unn say bhee agay nikal chukay hain.
We starts discussion on Genders…. Males did this, Women did this. Islam says this and Other religion says this. Its not problem with religion or genders… its problem with our mentality and with due sorry… our mentality is at worst stage. We have always double standards. Standards for family and standard for others. I hope if same pace will be kept on, we will find incest very common in our society. I tell you this SEX never stops. It goes on. If one target achieved, it sets new target and so on.
Allah Bless our nation.
since da last decade and half living in da states, i never heard of such incidences—i mean dont get me wrong, sexual harassment does occur but something like this groping not so frequent—-only once in a bluemoon and when it comes on da local news, da perpatrator turns out 2 b a dysfunctional person such as a child molester or drug addict or maybe a fat ass janitor—its shame that such things r happening and even at such a high extent—its becuz pakistan is a sexually suppressive country becuz of close minded culture and rigid intepretation of religion.—-i say let nite clubz and barz open like in india so that ppl can release steam and their pent up frustrations.
I couldn read all of the comments , but one thing i agree with Amna that similar incidents have happened with me and my fellow friends as well. once we were having a stroll after dinner a group of guys standing on one of the roofs started throwing stones and pebbles at us and passed a few remarks . We didnt say a thing at the moment just three of us stood at the gate holding our slippers guarding any exit and one of us went to her home and got her two brothers and all six of us barged in and went directly to roof and had them have a good piece of their doings back.
similarly once my friend was walking outside of her house two guys first went past giving remarks and one pull at the strap then the turned and came back for more but this time my friends elder sister was ready she just grabbed the guy from his collar and pulled him off from the bike and both got their slippers off and gave him a good beating.
My point is that why girls must LET them do anything like this . i know we are weaker sex but not until we stop thinking like that…. i know there are exceptional times when we cant do anything but i know those guys in these two incident for a long time got a lesson!
Asmaa, great job done. keep it up. girls can tackle situation easily, if they are brave and confident.
@Sameer: read comment#11 which was in reply of similar lame comment by Sehba
@adnan
do u even live in da states? in america, i already said yes sexual harassment happenz, incest and rape also happens but not 2 da extent in which it happens in muslim countries particularly religious muslim countries such as pakiland,saudi and iran. da reason is, that there r nite clubs, da police dont care here if a boy or girl r holding hands or even kissing each other in public—there r not religious police here which ask a boy and girl living together if they r married or not—thats a major factor, but of course not the only factor, y there isnt a lot of rape or harassment in western countries in general—and most of da ppl who do engage in such stuff r either stressed,depressed, dysfunctional or sorry loozers—thats all what im trying 2 say—so of course there still will b such crimes—im not saying at all that if we becum like india or europe or america, that there will b no rapes,incest or harassment—there still will b, but such incidents will b much lower than they r now since now in pakistan such things r not da exception—they have become pandemic in pakistan.
who said Pakistan is a “Religious” Country?
d rape also happens but not 2 da extent in which it happens in muslim countries
any Data to back your statement?
@adnan
pak is a religious country in da sense that it came into being on a religious ideology—no i dont have any data offhand but i lived in many countries and by experience im telling u
I think every country is religious. its the western media who puts stamp on Muslim countries that its religious country. Now a days, they projects religion as an abuse specially Islam. So I think that there is no direct relationship between actions of people and religion of any country.
aoa
i agree to mustafa and also i would like to add something as MJK said that its not happening in all city but i do agree that its happening in many cities of pak but some cities and places are safer and are in better condition specially frontier province is better that others i think in this regard although these things do happen there but still…….
May ALLAH guide us to the right path and may we all follow the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet MUHAMMAD (SAW). ameeen.
Well I agree these kind of events happen in our society and we should condemn these but at the same time condemn the way you presented it here like an erotic story.
LINES TO NAZIA HASSAN
You were indeed the girl with the golden voice,
But more, much more, your heart was gold
And your deeds were gold indeed.
You were, moreover, ever so bold
Countries, creeds and castes dissolved before you,
Your love and care were beyond compare,
Dutiful daughter, loving sister, doting mother;
Your life was short but you left your mark
On a world so cruel, so crude, so stark,
As beauteous as your mother Muniza
As wise as your father Basir;
Nazia, sweet Nazia, we do not mourn you!
We’re gathered here to celebrate
A golden girl to emulate.
Dear All,
I am very surprised that why it happend to Amna so many times? Can’t you learn how to handle or stop this thing from happening? I am a working lady and mostly travel alone. It is true that these kind of things happen to girls. It also happend to me when I first started to go to my college by public conveyance. But thank to God who has given me guts and common sense to handle these things.
Whenever such thing has happend to me or if I have seen this thing happening to some other girl I never hesitated to slap, shout or hit him hard with anything that comes in my hand. Secondly from 1 or 2 of such incidents I learnt that how I have to behave in crowded places. I always remain attentive to my surroundings whereever I am. I dress appropriately and keep appropriate expressions on my face. If you do not stay attentive, wearing revealing clothes in public place and not showing attitude from your looks then you are inviting people to touch you and take advantage of you.
I am not asking to wear a hijab, to go out with a male person only, or not to wear fashionable dresses as some of the writers have suggested above. I am only asking to show some sense. You must decide yourself where to go with a male person and where you can go alone. What to wear when your are going in a car and what to wear when you are going through a public bus. You can satisfy your sense of fashion by wearing ultra modern clothes in friends and family gatherings…
Something is very definite. I have seen these things happening to only those girls who do not stay attentive no matter they wear a hijab or not, to girls who do not have a sense of dressing according to the place and to those who appear over friendly. Stop inviting guys from your gestures. These things will stop happening.
@ Amna: You cannot talk to your father and brother but you can write it here????
Well said by Ms Sammo. Girls have to care themselves while going in public gatherings. They must wear dresses according to occasions and society. One of my lady colleague, who was working on front desk of customer service department. She was used to wear low neck dresses before moving to front desk counters and kept same practice after it. One day a customer (young guy) took her cleavage picture through mobile camera. She got angry and asked guard to not allow him go out. Any how our team managed to delete that picture from him mobile but mean while other customers started arguing that if these girls will wear low neck dresses and sitting infront of customer that it will happen again and again. They asked that our company should prepare dress code for girls also, as it is for males.
Anyway it was bad experience with her and she never wore such dresses again on front counter and no bad event happened with her again. So it is clear that if girls will wear seductive dresses on public places and where they have to deal common customers then these events will keep happening.
to think of it i thought it has become a menence to society for all gurls…….i’d even like to comment on Mr. Saleem Khan’s reply….as u say gurls are to dress up according to a particular given code…according to society n be it any given event well sir true it mattters to dress up ethiclly but sir even if u wear a astouned shalwar kameez….or kurta guys still hav there dirty looks and wicked thought and to think of it…its not only the ill mannered or illiterate people or young or old who are doin this…….i to have me own stories…..but by the grace of god i learnt to fight back…..since my early ages that i can recall of…..if i had to go to the market with my mum or dad….i did face such probles bt being i always kept ma mouth shut till i gained sense that this was wrong…initally…..while on the way home in the rickshaws guys on the bikes and/or cars woulld start following….commentin,,,throwin n their numbers….it so happened that sum time baq i was in the bazzar with my younger sister shoppin….this guy out of no where bumps him self entirely over me from the back…i managed to catch him from the neck and hammer the shits out of him…….das wen i learnt you hav the will u can stop such things from happining in our society…..
Ms Aloysia: I’m not saying that proper dress up will give 100% fool proof security to girl. but atleast it will decline ratio of victims. We really can’t change mentality. I’m even suffering from same mentality. I’m working in Multinational company and obviously we have good interaction with our lady colleagues all over Pakistan. But when ever I mentions in front of any relative or friend that we all are working like family in company, they starts raising questions about our company girls in negative manner. They thinks that we all are involved sexually with each other or some kind of close friendships etc etc. How I can alone change mentality of these people. Even for a moment we will convince that working girls are not corrupt at all (as mostly our society thinks) but then they will talk on our back that these guys enjoys and then shows innocences. Dirty minds persists all over Pakistan.
I’m sorry that our girls are facing problems in markets but please get brave and face them. You will Inshallah find good people around you also, who will help you for beating properly these bloody guys. Go Ahead…!
tx saleem sb……bt as you say u are workin in a multi national Co……u are very much aware…of hw ppl dresss….wat r da requirements for certain offices….im not sayin it right alone bt on da oda hand…explain to ur family and/or friends sure is not easy…..bt if u av a gurl in ur family…wud u allow her to work….and if ys…den wud ur family think da same way…..
ma moral is it takes one to knw one……check your own callors b4 catchin others…..
and yes tx for askin us to stand up…..i hav learnt to ….ma sister r still learnin to…n i pray dat all other gurls to grasp up the courage to do da same…n men like you to be supporative………..
I am totally annoyed with the society as I am a young boi but have never ever thought of doing so !!! i think that the people who do all this crap are dead from inside there souls are hollow they are nothing except walking bodies…..
well i pray for all the females that God give them courage n Bravness n give them the strength to beat the shit out of those people !!!
And trust me working women are not corrupted at all except few cases that u will find anywhere now !!
Ms Aloysia: If I think positive about other families girls and always gives them respect as I gives to my sister then it means that my family also thinks like the same way. It will become personal but I still remember that my neighbor aunties were used to say my mom that your sons are like girls, they never even see towards our faces and gives reals respect to all of us. and I still remember my mom advice on my first day of career that “Baita, always treat your lady colleagues like your sister because they are same like your sister”. and I’m doing it. I never found any problem and neither any my female colleague felt any problem from my side. I’m enjoying high level of trust among each others. Good and fair relations always helps in life but don’t know why people are unable to understand it. Mostly guys takes girls as sex symbol and acts accordingly. These stupid tactics only degrades their personality in the eyes of girls.
I also endorses this statement that working girls are not corrupt. Its my observation that corruption is more in conservative families and in villages.
tushe Mr. Saleem….i respect you and your virtues……n to think of it uf all men could think like you………..but wat suprises me is dat…..these dirty tactics r not only pulled by down to earth men bt also….da one’s living high fi….even jobs….abt sum time baq i had been lookin out for jobs as i had left ma previous job…..u must hav heard of rozee.pk……well……der was a job vacancy for a (Business Executive / Personal Secretary)…..the title given for this job the detail and remuneration were jus too gud to be true…..bt upon a talephonic conversation…..it was revealed that dis was a job…….. true…bt….the catch was of being an escort commonly known as a call gurl………jus look at da height of desperasy……….
Ms Aloysia, I just pray all the best for our females. Really we can’t change mentalities of majority of males. Sexual harassment cases are increasing day by day in national companies and in sole proprietor companies. Their bosses thinks that secretary should play role of employee as well as whore.
I feel always bad about these mentalities but we can only spread awareness among people. wish you good luck for good job.
Yes, I agree with Aloysia M
tx Ms. Saira….and Mr. Saleem
Ms Aloysia, Its my pleasure.
This is really very correct about secretaries…. and what you all are talking about. I have recently joined a company and what I heard over here about the boss is scaring.
When I went there for the first time for initial interview the boss/owner selected me and offered me job in the first interview. It was strange as you normally get selected in 2-3 interviews and in that case too you are offered later through a call. The office was more looking like a government office and when I was waiting for the interview to begin I had already decided that I would’nt join here. But when the boss interviewed me, he appeared to be a very decent person with huge plans of developing his business that motivated me to join the company.
He also called my husband inside his office who was waiting for me and told all the nice things about the salary, growth chances, environment, respect towards girls etc that I decided to join the firm.
I joined the company as Manager in a newly formed department. With me another appointment was made that was of his secretary. We became friends being the new appointees. She was a nice girl and later on as she worked for him she experienced the things, offers from the boss that were out of all limits (details cannot be written here).
My mind was not accepting this as I have only seen his nice side but after some time I heard the same from some other employees too. Now I know the reason of selecting me without a detailed interview in the first meeting…. Thank to God he never attempted to say any thing like that to me. May be he has observed that I have a strong personality..
All bosses are not the same. I have worked with extremely difficult bosses and very nice bossess but this was my first encounter with this kind of boss. You can find this kind of people everywhere no matter how educated/civilized they are….
I have again started my job search.
Pray for me that I will soon get a job at a decent place….
Regards
Sammo
Sure, Inshallah good people will get good jobs in good companies. No doubt all male bosses or managers are not alike but majority is not having good character. Its my observation that in Sole proprietorship companies, sexual harassment by bosses/managers is 90%, In Pakistani private limited companies this ratio is 65% to 70% and in Multinational or transnational companies working in Pakistan, this ratio is 20% to 25%. In small companies, HR hardly exists so bosses applies their own policies according to their desires and wild thinkings. They hardly hires sexy and beautiful girls. Where as in Multinational and Transnational companies, HR works properly and saves rights of each employee so no manager or director can do sexual harassment for salary increase or incentives. Maximum they can change their secretaries but can compel them to resign without any reason. HR even takes strict action and can terminate manager on serious complaint from any employee.
I wish all the best for our 52% of population i.e. Females. Good luck and keep your morale up. You are the one who have to fight against this system and we are supporting you also. We have to kick black sheep out of this society for the safety of every body.
dear ms. sammo,
i can surely understand what you mean when you talk of boss’s and higher managements like that, but in da end of it this is karachi where anything and everything is possible inncidents like these and many if not with us are happining to people around us but who is exactly to be blamed….you, me, women, men, society………there just isn’t one person who you can catch and say its your fault……but if we hold are grounds and be firm thats where we can say we aren’t wrong, but do you honestly think that if you stay put so will everyone else let me tell you something i;ve seen a few of these things my self…..in our society there are girls who get jobs with a lot of difficulty…but once they do…..no matter what it take to keep their jobs….or for them to reach higher positions and when i say no matter what it takes i even mean sleeping with their boss’s i wish you all the best in your search of a new and settled job but remember where ever you may go…..you will always finds stories and facts like these taking palace in front of you……………..
ciao’s aloysia