The Pakistani Spectator

Like any other society in the world Pakistani society has myriad facets. Each facet has a uniqueness which is unparalleled. We as humans like to make stereotypes and then try and fit everyone into our own stereotypes. We try and judge every action against our own moral value scale. Similarly we try and judge the morality of sexual acts in our own specific way. I think there is nothing wrong with this approach. The problem arises when we fail to acknowledge that other societies might not share similar values with us. Our staunch belief that all five fingers should be equal and that what we think is the only way of thinking is a troublesome idea.

There has been a lot of fuss about acts of indecency becoming a common place phenomenon in our society, where women are made a target of explicit harassing gestures in the public all too often. It seems as if our youth is growing into beasts, devoid of any societal norms. Reference to indecent and vulgar things was and is a common phenomenon in day to day talks of every Pakistani. No gathering is devoid of its share of jokes of suggestive or more explicit nature. The young and the old indulge into dirty talk whenever they get an opportunity to do so.

More of this habit springs from curiosity borne out of myths spread about sexual behavior. We as a nation know little truth about sexuality but act to know more than our fair share. Since there is no single acknowledged method of sex education in our society everyone has his/her own way of getting to know about sexuality. Myths and falsehood take the central role in this scenario and create an ocean of beliefs based on misunderstanding of facts.

Our society has also come under increasing pressures from the promotion of interaction between different cultures at more than one level. Access to TV, video, satellite and internet has lead to an information overload. These very tools also serve as an easy conduit of information and myths about sexual issues. It is little wonder then that almost 99 percent of Pakistani youth has visited or frequented an adult site in their lifetime. Most of the information present on these portals is rubbish and leads to unsafe and unhealthy concept formation in the youth. Not only this but it puts the youth under pressure to experiment with the attributes that come with adult life.

Similarly illicit and unwanted interaction between the two genders is also on an exponential rise in our society. Although there have been no concrete studies but the common feeling is that the new generation has indulged in intimate contact either outside of their parents knowledge or not sanctioned by the society’s norms, at some point in their life. The cafe scandal in Rawalpindi is only a fresh incident that is my case in point. Given the slightest of opportunity the young of the nation seem to go berserk almost instantaneously.

One of the possible reasons for this drastic change in the way genders intermingle is the other social pressures. With changing dynamics it has become increasingly difficult for a man or a woman to marry any earlier than 28 or 30 years. It is expected of a young man to have graduated and be earning a handsome amount before he is allowed the nuptial bliss. Similarly females are expected to complete their education before their knot can be tied. The ever increasing vulgarity on media is adding fuel to fire in this context. The youth therefore explore alternate ways to satisfy their sexual urges. This, in part, leads to incidents of harassing, rape and murder.

In some of the cases the perpetrators are psychologically impaired and need to be identified and separated from the rest of the cases. Such individuals need medical attention and due care. But these cases do not form the majority of incidents, in my mind.

Religious delebration on this matter is also urgently needed. Our religion has to come to our rescue and salvation in telling us alternates to frustrated emotions. If think it should be emphasized by our religious authorities that our religion if practiced in the true spirit is one of the most liberating experiences. A better and up-to-date interpretation and explanation of guidelines on sexual behavior will do our society a lot of good. I might not be suggesting a complete overhaul or an interpretation based on ‘liberal’ views but one that is compatible with our basic tenets and also with the changing dynamics of the present day world. I have no doubt that it will require minimum effort and is only very logical.

Some of the kind of sexual suppression is a result of our Hindu culture rather than anything else. We need to acknowledge these customs as a remnant of our ancestral identity and need to address them accordingly. We have to stop hiding behind the garb of religion for support of our age old thinking.

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