Kalsoom Baloch Love Marriage Issue
By Amna Gilani • May 28th, 2009 • Category: Politics • 16 CommentsChief Justice Lahore High Court has released the Kalsoom Baloch, his husband and her husband’s relatives and have declared that Kalsoom is free and can go anywhere. This is yet another not-so-uncommon sight in the Pakistan and this case once again highlights a very burning issue.
Kalsoom Baloch tied love bond in marriage with Fazal Abbass and went with him. Parents of Kalsoom were furious and very angry and they filed a case against Fazal and alleged that Fazal had abducted their daughter. Police arrested Fazal and his relatives and also the girl. Upon girl’s statements that she went with Fazal at will, court released all of them. Now Kalsoom says that her life is at risk from her parents.
Now this is a very contentious issue. What is your take on the following questions:
- Love Marriage allowed in Islam?
- Eloping of Girls for marriage is right, or they should remain at their homes and fight for their love marriage?
- Who should be more important for the girl; Lover or Parents?
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Obviously, the parents should be more important to the girl than the lover. I am not against love marriage, but if the consent of parents is also there, then such marriages will become more beautiful. When in love, we only see the good side of each other. The girl doesn’t know that the mighty lover does smoking when not with her. And the lover doesn’t know that the girl snores like pig. In a couple of years, when “lover” will start burping on her face, and fart while sleeping, she’ll start missing her parents.
“Now Kalsoom says that her life is at risk from her parents.” And what would she do when lover’s parents will start blaming her to marry their son like that and not bringing trucks of dowry? Definitely, the guys parents and family might have some dreams of how they’ll marry their son/brother. Which they couldn’t fulfill. They, sure won’t be happy with their son and Bahu Raani. What’d she do? She’ll miss her parents.
I’m against run away love marriages.
Amna your reply as per order of questions.
-Love marriage is allowed in Islam and no other way of marriage should be preferred in the circle of Islam.
-Girls are normal humans so they have natural tendency to elope as they see their male family members.The girls who usually run away from home rarely find good status in others homes and as people alway remember them through this act and even when their children grow up they never missed any chance of hitting them.So independent women can take such a huge risk but girls from mediocre family actually enters into another troubled life after such emotional decisions.
-In our society girl child is very precious gift for those who consider her as heavenly gift ,if parents love their daughters truly, care them and take care of their natural sentiments, no girl can ever dare to humiliate her parents.Such problems occur in oppressor and hypocrites like families and for this purpose govt makes laws that usually favor women and man to marry and live as per their will.This is law of GOD but in our difficult society lot of hurdles is ahead if any girl dare to do it.
This is case where too much interference by the media may end up making it a Big issue. Since both the girl and the boy is happy…so we muct not interfere in their marriage.
Jab mian bibi raazi toh kya karega Kaazi.
(-:
Love marriage is allowed in islam,their should be strict rule for such parents who torture their children so that they can’t force their girls in any way.govt.should take notice now for the girl’s rights.
Hi Amna,
Islam came into existence only 1500 years back. What about humans who lived before and loved and married or eleoped?
It is question of RIGHT OF THE INDIVIDUAL. A religion can forbid it to fornicate,drink,smoke or just look at another man’s wife but as an individual i can commit SIN as long it doesnot violate any law of the land or infringe on other human’s rights.
“….. tied love bond in marriage ”
Curious choice of words
O c’mon stupid man,
Islam did not came into existence just 1500 years ago. Islam is a divine religion and has been into existence in different ages and is as old as since Adam stepped on this land. we, muslims, beleive that there were around 24,00 God’s messengers sent to different nations in different ages and all were worshiping the same God, were preaching the same God’s teachings and had the same religion.
but you damn stpids wont ever understand it.
How stupid it is to make something with your hands and then start worshiping it. Better you worship donkeys and pigs and dogs. . . because at least they can sense you but idols made from clay Never!
if you do not have even that much sense then how can you talk and challenge other’s views, stupid man. Go to hell!
who will be more stupid than those Those who worship fire, idols, sun and moon and still claim to be the most knowledgeable and sublime people.
please make the correction, read as 1,24, 000 (one lak and 24 thousands)
Around 1,24,000 God’s messengers were sent to people of different ages.
Amma
It’s not Islam in question, but what our society and culture allow us to do. Simply we can say:
Tum main himmat hai tu dunia say baghawat kar lo
Warna Ma Baap jahan kehtay hain shaadi kar lo.
Comment No.5 by johann is from someone who does not know a thing about Islam or for that matter Pakistan.
brush up your knowledge about Islam and Muslims before trying to comment.
I ditto hamad Comment No.7. Very rightly said that Islam is the only divine religion which is there since eternity.
johann
Anyway nobody takes your comment seriously and as you have already seen people only get back to you when you write something as stupid as in comment no.5.
have a nice day.
yours sincerely.
adi
love marriage is not allowed in Islam , and so far all proved statistics , only the arranged marriages have higher stability ratios . Family bonding and all that is more important . People like Amna Gilani promoting something which is not within our culture . You keep posting such things and deep in your heart, you know it is not true.
Well I have never seen Questions so painfully begged to be vindicated All the three questions beg for the conciliatory statements based on the current neoclassical perspective. You cant advocate any of the four Parents Girl her husband or the judiciary itself . All are lipsoided in one way or the other. You can purge anything by giving reasoning which do actually settle on a principle.
Drop the issue in hope that better solution can hoped with sheer common sense do not construe it or accede to it on the basis of ragmarole and nondisjunctive arguments
Nazia
got all the answers wrong, as usual. Oh my God what will make this lady understand, Israelite?
Assalam u Allaikum
As far as I see, Islam never put any clause on loving someone as far as it is for good and for marriage. Please see under mentioned hadith
Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “There is nothing better for two who love each other than marriage.” (Sahih Al-Jami`, 5200)
We are living in hippocratic society. We always do what we like at our time but oppress other for the same at other time and agin do the same thing when we wish or need that again. Truth is, our guardians, parents, teacher, and overall society donot have good idea of Islamic teaching. We usually work with partial picture rather having complete. In many cases we also show our inner dirt and hippocracy by hidding the truth even by knowing that thorougly.
Let come to this particular issue. First question is why a girl take decision to leave her parents and to run with someone else. Reasons are as follows
1) Lack of trust in parents 2) Lack of parents guidance 3) Social and family Hippocracy 4) Practise of Differencing between son and daughter 5) Out practice of withholding the rights of others specially women either daughter, sisters, wife, mother and so on 6) Her own foolish attitude
Above mentioned all reasons occur due to one or more then one mistakes of parents. ALLAH has given right to boy and girl to choose their partners and to merry each other then with due respect how parents can bypass someone rights when ALLAH has given that right to that person. This is parents mistake. In marriage, parents or guardian role is just to keep an eye on the person, to evaluate that person with proper logical grounds and then just to advice their child that this is good or bad by giving proper reason. Have session with their child and try to convince him/her rather oppressing her.
Let me also tell you that people have confusion that arrange marriages are better. Truth is that neither arrange nor love marriage is better. It’s only the persons. People usually come with statistics of divorce rates but do you know the sufferings of arrangeable married women. See their lives by your own, rash words from husband and his relatives, occasional or daily beating, and many more insulting attitudes. If theose poor women are bearing this then this doesn’t mean that arrange marriages are better then love marriages.
One thing more; As I said we are hippocrates. Do you know how we work. If some arrangeable married girl is in her husband house and without seeing how she is bearing her married life we usually call this marriage very successful but if the same proposition happen with some love marriage. we usually taunt that girl or relationship unsuccessful just due to love marriage. First we need to rationalize parents attitude. Our holy prophet said
“Be Kind to young ones; Show respect to elders”
This clearly show that first parents need to rationalize therir attitude and realise their mistakes then children will certainly work the same way. In last, These are our parents who usually demand what is not their right. Childeren either son or daughters are just asking or fighting for having their rights.
Regards
i think love marriage is allowed coz next year am also running with my love plz pray kae us se pehle koi miracle ho jaye nd hamari famz maan jayen aur agr na manein to atleast pray ke humein koi prob na ho apna future banane mein coz i m only 17 yrz old plz pray kae mjhe mera love mil jaye
hi any 1 girl want 2 be my friend cal me at my no 03006753790