The Pakistani Spectator

Would you please tell us something about you and your site?After making millions in Barn Yard porn, I grew tired of the same routine and decided to branch out. My first attempt at blogging was a site called, “Cat Hook-Up”. This site was dedicated to cat dating. It was there to help shy cats meet other cats in hope that they may find a life mate. The problem I had with this site was that rampaging gay cats were trolling the site looking for single and confused kittens that they could pray upon. So I shut down the site and started and new one called, “My Grandmother is a Cheap Whore”. I soon found out that a lot of states have laws that prevented people viewing the photos I provide of my grandmother and me. So I moved onto working on a site called, “Recycled Food”, but it turned out to be a real crappy site. So I then started a blog called, “Check out what I did to your sister”, I had to change my name and identity after that one. As of this date I’m still receiving death threats. Finally I created Hot Lard and most recently Demotivational Minds. They pretty much suck, but they are legal and I don’t get as much hate mail.

Do you feel that you continue to grow in your writing the longer you write? Why is that important to you?

What I find growing the longer I write is the pain in my hands. There are times I will work on a sentence for 6 to 8 hours and my hands will cramp something fierce. Normally I can relieve this pain by beating my dog and sacrificing its severed head to “Gorlox” the evil spork god of the underworld. Then I get back to writing my children stories and feel just find.

I’m wondering what some of your memorable experiences are with blogging?

There was this time in Thailand; I was with two teenage hookers, a crack addict, a rabbit with distemper, three unshaven midget wrestlers, four disco coke heads with a box of raisins, one illegal alien from Jupiter, a 11 toed foreign exchange student with turrets, a sticky mitten, 14 bags of walnuts, three colostomy bags , 44 sticks of dynamite, A cow that could do tricks, and an East German paranoid mute with bad breath…. I think we wrote a story about a fish.

What do you do in order to keep up your communication with other bloggers?

Blackmail

What do you think is the most exciting or most innovative use of technology in politics right now?

The anal intruder 3000.

Do you think that these new technologies are effective in making people more responsive?

Have you ever had you anal intruded by a power tool running at 7500 RPM and 240 volts AC? You’d be pretty responsive to just about anything.

What do you think sets Your site apart from others?

Each day I back a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies and lay them out on the home page for my visitors to eat. If you don’t like cookies I also offer teenage Russian hookers.

If you could choose one characteristic you have that brought you success in life, what would it be?

I can blow bubbles with my anus.

What was the happiest and gloomiest moment of your life?

My happiest moment was watching the creation of my first anus bubble. It was a majestic site, a grand bubble brown in color. The gloomiest moment was 13 second later when that bubble popped just inches from my nose.

Do you think [the use of Twitter and other social networking tools by politicians] is bandwagon jumping or what?

I was twittered once by my priest, he promised me a candy bar if I let him twitter me and the bastard never came through. I really missed that candy bar. I thought the church cleaned that up. If politicians are twittering young boys now, I think it should be stopped. Unless they come through with their candy promise.

If you could pick a travel destination, anywhere in the world, with no worries about how it’s
paid for - what would your top 3 choices be?

Any place but Pakistan, talk about a real dump! I would rather have my balls but off and fed to me than go to Pakistan and have to breathe one breath of their urine filled air.

What is your favorite book and why?

“1001 Anal Intrusions” It’s just a story I can really get into.

What’s the first thing you notice about a person (whether you know them or not)?

Whether that have boobs or not. I prefer the ones with boobs.
Is there anyone from your past that once told you couldn’t write?

I never learned how to read or write. I refuse to write about it.

How bloggers can benefit from blogs financially?

Ask a good friend over for a some drinks and dinner. When they are not looking place a knockout drug in there food and wait until they pass out. Then take pictures of them having sex with a Great Dane or Lama and threaten them that you are going to put them on your blog unless they pay you great sums of money. Or make them have sex with you, if you are a sicko and like that sort of thing.

Is it true that who has a successful blog has an awful lot of time on their hands?

I have a lot of hair on my palms, so I must ne a very good blogger. I’m nearly blind too… Wonder what that means???

What are your thoughts on corporate blogs and what do you think the biggest advantages and disadvantages are?

I think that some corporate blogs are necessary. Anything that has to do with Anal wart cream and colostomy bags should be blogged.

What role can bloggers of the world play to make this world more friendlier and less hostile?

Kill anyone who does not agree with you. I believe that would alleviate a lot of arguing.

Who are your top five favourite bloggers?

Touch me there

Pull my Finger again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

Animals need human loving too

Two girls’ one cup

Is there one observation or column or post that has gotten the most powerful reaction from people?

I would have to say it was my post on the true love I have for Soccer. I can not get enough of that sport. You can check it out here.

http://hotlard.wordpress.com/2008/03/09/demotivational-posters-volume-8-i-hate-soccer/

What is your perception about Pakistan and its people?

You do really good sheep porn there.

Have you ever become stunned by the uniqueness of any blogger?

Are you stunned yet?

What is the most striking difference between a developed country and a developing country?

The smell of urine is everywhere in undeveloped countries. Sometimes I wish we could be more like that here.

What is the future of blogging?

Fart jokes.

You have also got a blogging life, how has it directly affected both your personal and professional life?

I’m sleeping with a lot more pre-teens now.

What are your future plans?

Take a dump and then watch barnyard porn. Probably beat off and fall asleep.

Any Message you want to give to the readers of The Pakistani Spectator?

Remember to always brush your teeth (or in your case tooth) and wipe your ass. Make sure that you never buy rotten camel meat at the market. The boogie man is real and is defiantly out to get you. You can not carry 12 British nuns on your back. Cat poop will cure cancer. My left nut can speak Portuguese. And always do what your mother says… Unless she is a she-devil and has sex with a talking mule names Roberto.

God Bless Mexico!!!

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